Chasing the real light

Stasi prison July 05, 1986

The people who built that wall in 1961, did they know?

Did they have family and friends on the other side?

How have they lived through the decades?

Lost my fourth bro now.

The only one who went back.

I won’t select another one although I should.

It’s an unwritten code in here and it works well.

Financially, mentally and socially.

But I had it.

I’m the ultimate veteran in our cell now.

The comrades started treating me like the next go-back-victim.

Right after Rudolf left they were all over me with their solidarity and comfort.

It doesn’t help.

And it loses against my anger and frustration.

I might be walking out that gate on the 25th anniversary of that fucking wall.

That wall might keep me in this country for many years to come.

Hope is dwindling slowly and gives way to disgust.

Why me and what will I do?

This is my darkest summer.

It will get a whole lot darker when I will walk into daylight.

13-August, here I come and I will hate the sun as long as I have to chase the true light.

*Testimony -> Start. This blog entry is part of a linear narrated testimony of the contemporary witness Jens Thieme who was imprisoned 1985-1986 as a political prisoner in various GDR prisons by the GDR Ministry of State Security. Stasi prison, Stasi jail, Stasi detention.