Light!

Stasi prison January 31, 1986

LIGHT! AIR!

Guards let me out mid day.

Highest rank officer tried to threaten me.

“You pull off something like this again and we’ll cancel your parent's next visit too.”

“Maybe you won’t have to bother with me soon anymore anyway.”

“You got until August 13th, right?!”

NOOOOOOO!

Well, yes.

Do I?

How much does he know?

Does anyone know anything about anyone in here?

Are they even supposed to know about the duration and the potential time window?

And if so, does that mean that I’ll be one of the unlucky bastards they’ll send back home instead across the border?

I need to talk to my folks about their meetings and writings with the lawyers.

This is a very bad time to worry about this.

I feel the weakness after two flights of stairs.

Across the yards the sun bites my face off.

Fortunately it’s Friday, the boys are back.

The pleasure to see them again after 10 dark, frozen days is dimmed by that officer’s remark.

Of course they want to threaten me, of course he wants me back in line.

But this message was not designed to achieve that.

They want me to be troubled.

They want me to make a bad move.

They can’t lock me up for too long down there.

But if I was to make another move to break their rules they would.

High price to lose my temper now.

Gotta talk to my folks.

Need to take control.

Need to fight for my goals.

Need to create some impact.

First shower in two weeks.

Lots of hair falling out.

I vanish in dreams.

*Testimony -> Start. This blog entry is part of a linear narrated testimony of the contemporary witness Jens Thieme who was imprisoned 1985-1986 as a political prisoner in various GDR prisons by the GDR Ministry of State Security. Stasi prison, Stasi jail, Stasi detention.